the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize