he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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