Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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