Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
