You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
