Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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