i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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