make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
