we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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