Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
