I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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