It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
