please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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