no, he came in my armpit
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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