Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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