i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
