I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
