i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
