Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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