im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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