Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
