why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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