we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
