Do you still have your period?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
