absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
