He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
did i just pee glitter
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize