I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
