I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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