My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
