the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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