We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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