I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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