Got a toothbrush?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
