What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
