1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
