My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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