So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Did I show you my penis last night?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
