She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Randomize
