The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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