i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Randomize
