I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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