It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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