I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
