so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
