i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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