But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
