Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
no you cant smoke seaweed
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
