Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
