I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
