She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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