Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
