Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
