Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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