I'll bet she douches with gravy.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
