erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize